I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings here, but you can only give what you have. I want you to wrap your mind around that central concept.
A lot of people have a tough time doing so and that’s why they continue to suffer. If they feel stuck in any area of their life, it really all boils down to a lack of self-love.
Too many of us think that just by being born and just by showing up at the scene, that somehow, some way, we deserve people’s love and respect. Boy, are we in for a great disappointment.
You have to understand that love is already in short supply in this world. Can you imagine expecting other people to drop what they’re doing so they can give you the love and respect you think you deserve?
It doesn’t work that way. It hasn’t worked that way in the past, it doesn’t work that way now, and it probably won’t ever work in the future.
You can only give what you have
And if you have a tough time loving yourself, accepting yourself, or giving yourself the proper respect, don’t expect this to come from somebody else. Don’t expect to do this for somebody else.
This whole idea that you just have to wait for the right person so they can complete you and otherwise give you what you’re missing is a fantasy. In most cases, the person that comes along is the person who exploits you.
That’s right, this is the person who abuses your weaknesses. And instead of making you feel whole, complete and healed, they actually take advantage of you.
Either this person takes the form of a domineering mother, an emotionally absent father, or an abusive boyfriend or girlfriend, it doesn’t matter. That person will continue to come again and again and again because you refused to give something to yourself that you should have taken care of a long time ago.
Self-respect is not something that somebody gives you.
Self-esteem is not something that comes outside of you. It is your own estimation of your value as a person. It is something that you yourself have to give yourself.
This is why it’s always a good thing to get the idea of loving other people out of your head. Focus on what’s important first. Focus on loving yourself first.
This means getting to the root of your anxiety. This means changing your mindset. This means changing your belief system about who you are, where you’re going, what you’re capable of, what your limits are – the whole nine yards.
People don’t like to do this heavy lifting. Instead, they imagine themselves, whether they’re guys or female, it doesn’t matter, to be some sort of damsel in distress.
There they are, locked in a high tower wearing their gown and looking out into the horizon for that knight in shining armor who will come to their emotional rescue at the last minute.
This is the root of anxiety
I’m sorry, we don’t live in a fantasy land. You have to do the heavy lifting. You have to slay your internal demons. You have to overcome your dragons from the past, and only after that will you be free.
And the good news is that overcoming this dragon is easier than you think.
Now, a lot of people would give you grief for thinking that overcoming anxiety is easy. They think that it’s deeply rooted.
A lot of people would likely believe that you are, somehow, genetically predisposed to it. And no matter how hard you try and no matter when you try, it’s just not going to happen.
Well, I’m telling you, the people who tried to convince you of that are actually making money from that belief system.
Because when you believe that your anxiety is somehow locked in your genes and there’s really no amount of trying or self-awareness that will free you from that mental prison, you are left with one option. That option, of course, is medication.
The psycho-pharmaceutical industry in the United States and elsewhere is a multibillion-dollar industry. Year after year, pharmaceutical companies are raking in billions of dollars and their profit margins continue to grow. But this is blood money.
This is money based on hopelessness. This is money squeezed out of the guilt, the pain, and the despair of millions of people.